You just might live out of town if…

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There was a discussion on one of the posts on Frum Satire about the meaning of “out of town” when it comes to the frum community. I ended up writing a few Jeff Foxworthy “rednceck” style lines, and decided to put them up as a post on my blog:
If you have no kosher pizza store… you just might live out of town.
If the Orthodox and Conservative get along and mingle… you just might live out of town.
If your hand shmura has to be ordered several weeks in advance… you just might live out of town.
If black hats, kippot srugot, and Chabad daven in the same shul, and even eat shabbat meals at each others’ houses… you just might live out of town.
If you refer to “the” kosher market (or if it’s part of the supermarket)… you just might live out of town.
If about 30% – 40% of the congregants drive to your shul on shabbat, and no one gives them a hard time… you just might live out of town.
If appeals for the local federation are part of your Orthodox shul life… you just might live out of town.
If it’s MORE unusual for a married woman to cover her head and wear only skirts during the week… you just might live out of town.
If the mikvah has no attendant and you need to bring your own shomeret… you just might live out of town.
If you’re visiting and you walk into shul on shabbat, and you are immediately warmly greeted by a number of people and invited to shabbat lunch… you just might live out of town.
If people routinely walk 2-3 miles to shul… you just might live out of town.
If it’s socially acceptable for some Orthodox families to send their kids to the public high school, even if there’s a local Jewish day school… you just might live out of town.

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