Sunday, June 29, 2014

I'm Here, I'm not Queer - but I support them!

Here's something I posted on my "Philo" Facebook account today (that's the account I use for "blogging" type material, as opposed to my regular FB account):


Earlier today, I wrote, here on Facebook: "Happy Pride Week to all my LGBT friends!". But I wrote it only on this account, my "blogging" Facebook account.

I'm hardly anonymous. My real name (David Staum) is right there next to "Philo" on my main page. But the whole reason I have 2 Facebook accounts is to have one for keeping in touch with family & friends, who range from very conservative to very liberal, very Jewish to very non-Jewish, etc, and another account, this one, for discussing my opinions on politics, social issues, religion, philosophy, etc.

So even though I would like to, I didn't write the same message about Pride Week on my "real" account. And I'm conflicted about that. It's not like most people don't know that I'm very liberal. But on that FB account, I have too many friends from deep inside the "frum" world who would decide to argue with me. And what was meant to simply be an encouraging message of support would degrade into an argumentative comment thread, replete with homophobia, emanating from people I like and care about. And I just don't have the energy for such useless arguments.

Still, I feel like a hypocrite. I feel like some of my gay friends on that account would be happy to see support from someone who is, at the least, associated with the Orthodox Jewish community. As it is, I content myself with oblique congratulations there when another state takes a stand for marriage equality.

I'm not sure what the purpose of this post is. I'm not asking for advice. I'm not going to start posting my opinions front-and-center on my other account. I just wish it didn't need to be this way. Mainly, I wish there wasn't such close-mindedness in the frum community. I wish people could just agree to disagree. But until that day, I don't need the rancor and unpleasantness.



  1. Nope, I agree. I used to share feminist stuff on my Facebook account, but I've stopped, since it's not worth the controversy it starts among my more right-wing friends.

  2. Isn't it against FB's rules to use a fake name, or to have multiple accounts? Kinda unethical.

  3. I certainly agree. Unless you're on a mission to change minds and don't mind the endless arguing, why would you muddy the waters on your "real" profile?