Sunday, September 13, 2009

The yeshivish life treadmill

On Her Own writes about a young woman she knows who seems unhappily trapped in the yeshivish lifestyle:

"(she) cried to me for half an hour about how she hated wearing her sheitel (she said it pulled her hair out), how she felt like she'd thrown away her life, etc., etc...

...stood before me in her snood, shlumpy clothing covering a slouching and unhealthy looking figure, telling me in a monotone voice about her kids and the yeshiva in which her husband is learning"

Here's my comment to her post:

I feel for that girl, and unfortunately know so many people just like her, both men & women.

I think that the treadmill of seminary-marriage-kollel is a bit of a game. The people on this treadmill don't really think about the permanent ramifications of the treadmill until it's too late, until they're stuck in that life. The turning point is children and that usually happens pretty fast. Once kids are involved, there's rarely any turning back.

Perhaps that's why the yeshivish world urges this path - they know that marriage & kids are the quickest way of locking (very) young adults into the "torah true" lifestyle.

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